Growing up?

Last week, as I was spending time with my youngest son (7yo), tucking him into bed, he asked me, "I don't know why I'm asking this, but, what do you like to do?"

I paused and said a few things like playing and spending time with him and his brother and sisters; enjoy running, though haven't done it in a couple years; enjoy reading (though again, haven't done a lot of late, offline), and another thing or two.

The first thing that hit me after I left his room is that, he's thinking about others. Not like being unselfish, but looking at others' perspective, in a way. He probably never thought much before that his mother and I might like to do certain things.

The second thing that hit me is that, I don't do much just because I like to. Of course, I spend time with and play with my kids (though, not as much as I want to, particularly of late). But, that's easy. I love them and they mean the world to me. So, of course, playing with them is something I like to do.

But what else? I really don't have anything new to add (while blogging is something I like, I'm thinking more along the lines of real world, offline activities). And, the things I do like to do -- like running -- I really haven't done all that often.

So, is this part of the stage of life where being a husband, a father and an employee pretty much consume my life?

I'm not complaining, but am wondering that I should start taking more time to do things I like -- particularly playing with my kids.

Oh well, time to go let the pupply out one last time for the night.
-Michael

Everything I needed to know for public relations, I learned being a parent*

(NOTE: This is a cross-blog post initially published on my mainly professional-focused blog. Since the topic deals with parenting -- and the lessons learned -- I thought it'd be worthy to post here.)

*First, if you are reading into the headline that I or PR communicators should treat their target audiences like children, you're reading too much into the headline, taking it literally or trying to start something. That's not the point of this post. If you still believe it is, please leave. Otherwise, I would most appreciate it if you continued reading and left your $0.02 with a comment.

During some email back and forth a couple weeks ago with Ann Handley regarding a comment I left on her blog, I was reminded how much my children teach me. Then it hit me -- that much of what I've learned being a parent is very relevant to public relations and marketing communications.

Each child is different, so you can't parent them each the same way. Different temperaments, different personalities, different abilities, different ways they react to me (and my wife. From here on out, whenever I say me, I mean us).

The same goes with the audiences we are trying to market and communicate to. Each person is unique and reacts in different ways for what "works" for reaching him or her with the message. At the same time, there are generalities we use in parenting our children. We can't say the same thing four different ways. The same goes for communicating to our audiences. For example, look at reporters at a particular media outlet. There might be a company-wide policy or preference for receiving news, or for when you can contact them.

Be patient because each has his/her own time table. You never really know when something that you've been telling or trying to teach your children will finally click and sink in. Or, when you tell one to do something -- clean up, for example -- he or she will do it, but do it his or her own way. If you don't have a set time table yourself, that's fine in most cases.

The same goes for pitching a story. It may be a great story, but the timing for that particular reporter may not be right. You may get a call from that reporter a week or couple months later -- because the story was good, but he/she couldn't for whatever reason act on it then. That's also why you need to constantly remind your audience of your client or your employer with marketing messages -- because the audience may not need your product or service now -- but will in three months. Best to be top of mind.

You need to know and be involved in your children's lives. Yes, that may be an obvious one, but it's easy to be more of the care-giver -- looking after their basic needs -- than being a parent and playing with your children. My wife and I have a nearly nine-month-old daughter. While I love her as much as the others, I look forward to the time when she is less dependant on me (when we can communicate better, when she can easily sit up on her own, etc.). While the baby stage is great, it also is great when we can interact more. And, when I need to be less of a care-giver of my daughter and I can spend fun, quality and more quantity time with all my children.

The same point goes for our audience: Essentially, you need to know your audience; not just market or spew forth messages to them. Research, read, contact and even interact with your audience. Know what they like and dislike, their preferences. That's one of the great advantages of social media: market feedback and interaction.

Yes, really knowing your audience is not easy, but you'll have a much higher rate of success than the proverbial throwing a lot of mud on the wall and seeing what sticks. Besides, how else can you do point #1 above if you don't know your audience?

The basics: You need to want to be a parent, or at least be open to it and take it for the important responsibility it is. There's been enough times when I've heard about, seen or read about people who really should not be parents. More often than not, they're too selfish. I have felt sorry for their children, and hoped that God would particuarly watch over them. For the vast majority of people who are parents, even if they didn't at first want to be, they were responsible enough to know and take on the sacrifices and life re-focusing that's often required to raise children.

As with public relations and any profession, you need the basics. You need to know stuff like good writing (grammar, how different tactics call for different writing styles, etc.), have a solid work ethic, be honest and ethical, have a natural curiosity for your clients' businesses (and definitely your employer's business!), and have a sincere interest in others.

After all this, please don't think I'm elevating the role of PR and marketing communications to that of parenthood. Being a parent is by far one of the most important things I've ever have and ever will do in my life. That's why, I'm looking at parenting and seeing what I can apply from it to my job -- not the other way around.

-Michael

Frustratingly heart-warming

There is nothing more frustratingly heart-warming than trying to give your newborn a bottle in the wee hours of the morning, and she smiles the biggest smile right back at you -- as she refuses the bottle.

-- Michael

Learning from our children

As parents, one of our responsibilities is teaching our children. Imparting our life's lessons and knowledge onto them.

While that's true, we should not be blind to the lessons they can -- and do -- teach us.

My youngest son (age 6+) and I were playing Tuesday evening, and he "invented" a new game. The game was throwing Whiffle Balls into a plastic basket (kind of looks like a small, round clothes basket, but with a handle) from a few feet away. The object of course, was to see who could throw the most balls in during our respective turns.

After the first rounds, neither one could keep a ball in the basket -- they'd hit inside, but bounce off and out.

Plastic on plastic can make for a too-bouncy of a game.

So, my thought to try to resolve the problem was for us to throw lighter. Don't toss them too high so they bounce out; just a gentle toss.

WRONG!

While I was coming up with my own solution, my son wondered away a bit and gathered some of the fresh grass clippings and laid them at the bottom of the basket.

Problem solved!

No longer were the balls bouncing out. They landed softly (at least the ones that made it into the basket) and stayed.

So, he taught me a lesson.

To solve a problem, sometimes you have to change the situation rather than change your approach.
-- Michael

Children pay for parents' stupidity

My heart definitely goes out to the family and friends of Madeleine McCann, the four-year-old British girl supposedly abducted from a Portugal resort. Hoping with all my hope that she is alive, I can't imagine what she may be going through.

It definitely breaks my heart.

And what outrages me nearly as much is how that little girl is paying the price for the STUPIDITY of her parents, Gerry and Kate McCann.

Madeleine McCann disappeared May 3 when her parents left her and her 2-year-old twin siblings alone in their hotel room while they went to a restaurant in their hotel complex in Praia da Luz, a resort town in Portugal's Algarve region.

(Above, taken from a story about the McCann's meeting with Pope Benedict XVI.)

I know the story is not new, but I've yet to see any many (any?) comments about the careless way the McCanns treated their children. From an earlier story, I read that, while at the restaurant, the McCanns checked on their children "every half hour or so."

Only by God's grace did the other two children remain safe.

Yes, no parent is perfect -- including me -- but YOU DO NOT LEAVE YOUR YOUNG CHILDREN ALONE WHEN YOU ARE NOT HOME OR IN SOME UNFAMILIAR PLACE.

Isn't that just common sense?

Not for the McCanns.

And, unfortunately, their daughter Madeleine is paying the price of their stupidity.

-- Michael
(the father of three children eight and under, with my wife expecting #4 in July)

P.S. For a thought-provoking and well-worth-the-read commentary, please see Dani Garavelli's story in the Scotsman.

Do you know that they know if you are watching?

As parents involved in our childrens' lives, we know that we need to be there at their activites and events. Attending. Watching. Listening.

One additional thing I've learned is that, not only do we have to be there, but we have to be sure our children see us watching them.

For example, during the various lessons and other activities my kids have been involved in at the local YMCA, I'm watching them swim, learn gymnastics, climb the rock wall. I've also seen them turn and look at me after they've completed a teacher's task or other accomplishment.

They are checking to see if I'm watching.

And, I am (at least most every time).

I cringe when I see parents attending, for example, swim lessons, and bring a magazine to read while at the pool or constantly checking their Blackberry or similar device. Really, they might as well not be there.

Because they are really missing out on watching their children learn, grow, achieve -- and check to see if they are watching.

-- Michael

Ya gotta have faith

I'm not one to wear my religion on my sleeve. I consider myself religious -- or at least "a good Catholic" -- but not one that is vocally religious. I'm still not preachy but, whether through practical necessity or through God's hands, I've started to rely much more on faith of late.

Actually, just the past week.

A week ago today (Sunday), my wife confirmed what we had been hoping would not be true: That she is pregnant with our fourth child.

We wanted three children, and had two boys and one girl (now ages 8, 5 and 3). On our own time. According to plan. And, we were done with our family, and planning a trip to Disney World next June.

Good thing we didn't put a deposit down because God had other plans.

Without going into too much detail, suffice to say that Amy and I needed some medical assistance for her to get pregnant with our three children. With no more need for that assistance, we were not as careful and figured our family was complete with the five of us.

But, as noted above, God had other plans (okay, with assistance from Amy and me).

We both enjoy being parents, and love our three children all very much. And, we'll love child #4 equally very much.

So, we're making plans and looking to deal with issues like Amy likely quiting her job next summer, finding additional room in our home, buying baby clothes, toys and other stuff -- after selling most of it in garage sales the past two summers!

We definitely don't have all the answers.

But, we do know we have to have faith in God and that -- as long as we have faith, pray and do all we humanly can to find the answers -- it'll all work out for the best when the time comes.

We just gotta have faith.
-- Michael